MOUSTACHES. HOW TO MAKE YOURS EPIC.

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Moustaches divide people like a festive game of charades. To some they are the king of facial hair, a sign of dignity, a marker of style, and an all-round adornment to one’s upper lip. And yet to others they are redolent of 1970s pornography and your uncle Geoffrey (which are hopefully not redolent of each other).

Unlike beards, which as any man knows can just creep up on you after just a few days of not shaving, a moustache takes deliberation and thought. Or at least it does if you don’t want your upper lipholstery to look like an unfortunate accident.

So, before you decide on a moustache, it’s important to put in the leg work, do your research, and figure out which style will suit your face. With the help of Dom Williams from AONO Barbershop in London, we have created the ultimate guide for all your mustachioed needs. This is, The Top of the ‘Taches:

THE DALLAS

“A natural looking moustache which falls slightly lower than the lips on both sides” says Williams. This is the ‘tache sported by classic anchormen back in the days. It’s an unapologetic slug of facial hair that requires a certain degree of confidence to pull off. As William’s points out, personality aside, this is a moustache to suit pretty much any face type. Sixty percent of the time it works every time.

THE HORSESHOE

Also known as the biker moustache, this is similar to the Dallas but stretches further past the lips to the chin. This moustache takes a lot of effort, given you have to grow a ‘tache and a beard and then work it into the shape you desire. Still, there is no denying that it makes a statement. What that statement is, is up to you. Best for those with oblong or square faces and no shortage of self-esteem.

THE HANDLEBAR

The moustache to silence all others, the big daddy. “This Mo requires extra growth on either end which then gets twirled,” says Williams. It also requires the use of moustache wax each morning. But that shouldn’t put you off. No one said looking this dapper was going to be easy after all. The extra width afforded by this gentlemanly face-lace is perfect for those with oblong faces.

THE CHEVRON

If you have a square jaw and a sharply angled face then congratulations, you have won the genetic lottery. You’d also look pretty darn good in a Chevron moustache. This is arguably the most uncomplicated and humble of the ‘taches. But don’t be too passive resistant; your goal here is symmetry, so cut carefully and often. Better still, invest in a trimmer.

THE BALBO COMBO

If your face is on the triangular side of things, then this is the crumb-catcher you need. The name of the game here is preventing accentuation of the chin any further. The way to do that is to fill out the cheek bones and maintain some decent 5 o’clock shadow.

GROOMING YOUR MOUSTACHE TO PERFECTION

Now that you’ve chosen your ‘tache style, it’s important to consider how you are going to keep it in check so you don’t look like an off-duty scarecrow. What you are trying to do is keep growth uniform, prevent the ‘tache becoming a full-on beard and ensure it doesn’t become too scratchy and un-kissable. Follow these fuss-free steps for the ultimate facial fur:

1) Keep it clean. It’s not called a Soup Strainer or Flavour Saver for nothing. Your ‘tache will become a repository for all manner of debris, so 2 or 3 times a week you’ll want to shampoo and exfoliate it with some Get Groomed Purifying Beard Scrub.

2) Invest in a moustache comb. If your facial hair is a tangled mess, you are going to have trouble trimming it. Use a fine-toothed comb to remove all the knots.

3) Hydrate your ‘tache, so it’s easier to manage and nicer to nuzzle. A good beard oil will keep things conditioned. Try the Softer Touch Beard Oil.

4) When you’re styling the initial growth it’s best to put the razor down. Use a pair of moustache scissors to trim the ‘tache. The key here is to follow the line of your lip. Work from the bottom upwards for best results.

5) Once the shape is established, you’ll want to shave carefully to avoid detaching your new nose neighbor. Use the Sharp Cut Shaving Stick for a precision prune.

If you are thinking of taking the plunge and growing a moustache, we’d recommend investing in a beard kit. The House of Grooming beard kit contains a beard oil, beard balm, a comb and a grooming guide to get your whiskers off to a winning start. After all, less is Mo.

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