- 2 MIN LONG
- MEDIUM EFFORT
- 2 PRODUCTS
You could buy her flowers. You could bake her a cake. You could do the washing up while reciting Keats and she’ll still think you’re a daughter/son-stealing-pirate-vagabond with all of that unkempt facial fuzz. When it comes to meeting her/his mother for the first time, we recommend playing it safe. As in ‘safety razor safe’. A clean shave will inspire confidence, so let’s tidy you up.
Step 1 for a close shave: Preparation is everything
The best time to shave is just after a nice hot shower when your prickles are a little more pliable. A pre-shave oil is also a good idea. Try for increased glide. But the preparation doesn’t stop there my friend; you’d do well to learn her/his mother’s favourite colour, flower, dog breed, Celine Dion track, lucky number and star sign. This will give you some excellent conversation fodder as the afternoon wears slowly on.
Step 2 for a close shave: Cut carefully
Lather on some to cushion your shave - this foam is as silken and unctuous as your compliments should be. Then, holding the skin taught with your free hand, drag a clean sharp razor down your face in short strokes starting at the sideburn. Always shave in the same direction that your hair grows. Later in the day, you can apply the same expert precision to cutting the quiche she serves you, making sure to break cleanly through the base before placing an impeccable wedge on everyone else’s plate first.
Step 3 for a close shave: Soothe
Shaving slices off more than just your whiskers - the very outer layer of your skin goes down the sink too. This can leave your face feeling a bit fragile, so hydrate and replenish your chops with some . Packed with skin strengthening quinoa and spirulina extracts - it works a treat on even the most sensitive of skins. To soothe the mother-in-law-to-be, we’d recommend Smooth Jazz, played by you, on the ukulele.
Now there’s every chance her/his good old Mum is a free-spirit who couldn’t give a hoot about your facial follicles. Heck, she might even have a bit of a beard herself. Even if she is prim, you’re not obliged to conform, in fact, you’re well within your rights to ignore all of our well-intentioned advice.
Just be prepared to spend the whole afternoon feeling like you’ve run over her cat.